Well, holy shit, I guess I'm gonna do this thing. Went in for monitoring this morning and I have some seriously rockin follicles. Still only 8 good ones, but they are really great numbers. There's other smaller ones in there that might get big enough but I'm not counting on them. I'm still not super pleased with only having 8 but I'm hopeful that these 8 are the cat's pajamas! My lining has progressed quite well. I'm at 14mm which is "perfect" in the words of my, yet again, short-worded doc and my e2 (estrogen) level has risen perfectly also. When I was leaving this morning, Dr. P said he was going to wait til my blood work came back today to determine if we will trigger tonight or do one more day of injections and trigger tomorrow. He "wants to make sure it's all perfect." Preashy, Dr. P. I had taken the last of my injections this morning. He wanted me to do that bc he was thinking we would trigger tonight (and he wanted FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) in my system throughout today) and if not I'd have to order more meds (please no...we've already spent $3500 on them!) but it was up in the air when I left. I did meet with the nurse to show me where to have Josh give me the trigger shot (I'm clear it's going to hurt like a bia). She drew a circle on my hip where it needs to go. Basically a bulls eye.
Well...got the call! We are indeed triggering tonight! My e2 levels came back ready for trigger. Retrieval is at 8:30 am exactly on Wednesday! Eeeek! I'm freaking a little! I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm ready for it to be over, I'm...everything.
Also, I feel like ass. I felt really good for a while, but now I just feel fat, bloated and gross. I actually can't wear pants. My abdomen is sore. It's like when you're in the beginning of your pregnancy and you only want to wear stretchy pants. I put on my fat jeans on Saturday and they were snug. I decided not to care and ate Mexican food that day. I have a constant headache and I'm nauseated. I suppose I can handle a week of feeling like this (ok hopefully a lot more weeks to come!) to get a baby :) My attitude is DRASTICALLY improved from yesterday. I mean, the emotion is right at the tip of my eyes constantly. Like, don't eat my challah and I won't cry. But if you look at me wrong I will destroy you. True story.
Lastly, I think it's so cute that they give me an ultrasound pic of the size of my follicles. I have 2 now. Going in the baby book :) I'm keeping a positive attitude because my therapist says to. I joke, I joke. I really am trying to keep a positive attitude because there's nothing I can do to change any of it. I'm only accepting the good right now. I have been visualizing at night before bed. I visualize my follicles getting bigger and my lining thickening. Soon I'll be visualizing implantation and healthy growth! No negativity (from outside sources or my own head) is allowed in, nor do I really care for there to be any. Just because I can't stop crying doesn't mean I'm in a bad place! The tears are strictly hormonal...there's only good going on inside this head :)
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