oopsie!

Hey, remember last week when Josh and I had decided that having a puppy right now isn't the best idea?  And remember when we had looked at the litters ready for adoption end of Nov or Dec?  And remember when we said since we are actively trying to get pregnant that having a puppy and a baby would be too much work?  And remember when I was scared about Tucker's feelings toward a new puppy? Yeah, well we said screw all that and got our new puppy, Brody, this weekend! Sargent Nicholas Brody Cohen to be exact :) He is not a terrorist, nor does he play one on TV.

 

Honestly, look how handsome he is!  He's SO sweet it's unreal.  He's a silver lab which means his mom was a mix of chocolate and champagne, and his dad is actually red! At the breeder when he came out of his kennel area he ran up to Josh immediately, so he picked him up and put him on his back (to check his demeanor and if he would challenge Josh) "Munson" (that's what they had named him, I would have been fine keeping the name...GO DAWGS...but he's just more of a Brody anyway and Josh would NEVER allow one of his dogs to be named after a UGA legend ;) )went limp and just chilled out on his back.  Sign of a great dog! 

 

Then we went to Aunt Jenn's to meet his cousin Murphy.  They got along swimmingly!  And then it was bath time.  He smelled a LOT like puppy so he needed a delicious hylite bath.  Aunt Jenn helped give him a bath...bonding experience.

He's obviously having a hard time adjusting ;) He was such a good boy his first night.  He didn't whine at ALL in his crate, he didn't go potty in his crate all night AND he slept through the night!  In comparison to his big brother as a puppy, so far Brody is kicking Tuck's rear end! My poor Tuck whined all night for a solid week. Obviously he's perfectly fine now, as he hogs the entire bed.

 

Bro Co and Tuck are getting along fine so far.  They're still feeling each other out, but Tuck is being very gentile with him.  It's amazing how they just "know" what to do.  I don't have any pics of them together because they are really busy chasing balls and running into each other so doesn't make for a good still photo :) There will be MANY to come!  And Brody is obsessed with Owen.  He keeps running up to him and licking his face.  So far, my O Co hasn't swatted or hissed at him...I'm thinking they might be one big happy family eventually!  YAY! 





puppy fever

So...we want a puppy.  Yes, it's true.  Will this puppy be filling the baby void?  Probably.  I'm ok with it.  The breeder we got Tuck from (I know, I know...rescuing is the way to go...unless your husband is in the vet industry and is VERY particular about the kinds of dogs we get and knowing their history...sue us, would ya) has many litters being born between now and the holidays.  Silver labs!  That's right!  Gorgeous dogs.  Now, some background...it is roughly once a month I will go to Petsmart and text Josh a pic of a puppy with the subject line "can I bring him/her home?" And his response is generally one of the following: "Babe..." or "Why do you do this every time you leave the house" or "Please no" haha!  Well there I was on facebook at work (oops) and I'm friends with the breeder and they had a litter of silvers that were ready for adoption.  Please note they were born ON MY BIRTHDAY therefore I was convinced this was destiny.  So what do I do? I text a pic of "Munson" to my doting husband with a message saying that razzle dazzle has a new litter available and please look at this precious face.  I was fully prepared for one of his normal responses.  This time I figured it would be something like "you really have to stop this, I don't want another dog" :) but he didn't say that!  He said "wow, he's cute."  Um DUH!  So then there was some conversation about getting a new pup and we really did agree that right now is not the best time.  Having a big dog it's important to be able to train them properly and we aren't home enough right now to have a puppy.  I honestly 100% agreed.  Keeping in mind I'm leaving my job at the end of March (HELL YES) to go do my own adventure (hopefully teaching Zumba and making babies) then we could revisit the idea when I'm home.  Absolutely.  Fast forward 4 hours.  There I am in the kitchen making dinner (I'm effing susie homemaker) and Josh says to the DOG "Tucker, do you want a little brother?" and I screamed "omg YOU want a puppy!!!" He said that he really does want a puppy.  Turns out he doesn't want a mut from Petsmart (sorry) but he wants labs and only labs.  Um OK! Have you seen how gorgeous my dog is?!  Not the brightest crayon in the box (he eats socks) but my god he's beautiful! And not to mention his gentle demeanor and lovable-ness :) So...then this crazy brain of mine started chugging.  I was on the RDL website and saw that they're expecting litters to be ready to go home in late Oct, late Nov, late Dec AND late Jan!  I said, well the month of December is very slow at work and we are required to take 2 weeks off anyway...I have vacation time so I could take the week before off and have 3 weeks to get deep into training the new pup and then I'm basically done working a few months after that!  He is not totally against this idea...and I'm peeing myself.  Josh's only other point was that we are actively trying to get pregnant, and having a puppy and a baby is a lot.  Agreed.  HOWEVER, I'm not even pregnant yet therefore there's a MINIMUM of 9 months before we would have both and the puppy wouldn't be a puppy (ok kind of) anymore. (Did I mention this is filling the void??:) )  At least he would be housebroken and able to stay alone a little longer.  Then I said "Don't you want a houseful of kids and dogs?!" He said he does but he doesn't want a houseful of pee and chewing.  Well...having kids will destroy our house too...I'm not too worried ;)

All that being said this may not pan out.  The only reason I wouldn't be sad about it is because I worry that Tucker won't like having a brother.  He is on a very strict sleeping schedule (much like his mother) and loves his down time.  He's past the puppy stage and into the lounging part of life.  He is basically retired.  If it's past 10pm and we aren't in bed he is legitimately pissed :) But maybe he would love having a brother.  He does LOVE other dogs (shout out to his cousin, Murphy)  Who knows! but this is fun!!

I'm allowed to brag

Especially about my husband!  I'm just so proud of Josh.  He is amazing at what he does for a living.  Like, so good.  So good it's scary :) He's actually the smartest person I know.  He's well known in his industry as the master of sales.  And the way his brain works (rain man style) is pretty fascinating.  He is so quick with numbers, and the way he can get you to do anything is unreal.  Like the time he convinced my sister to go white water rafting.  She went from crying about how she didn't want to go to then being excited ;)  So, the reason for being so proud of him is that at his sales meeting last week he had to give a presentation.  Well, everyone had to give a presentation, but they were only supposed to last like 15-20 minutes.  Josh was asked to give 2 presentations at an hour each! One about ultrasound in the veterinary industry (what he used to do) and then the other about how his company played a role in keeping our Tucker Pup alive during his surgeries in July.  He showed a slide show of Tuck's surgeries, us sleeping on the floor with him at the animal hospital for 3 nights (that's right...for our dog), and his recovery.  He named which labs were sent to his company and the role that the equipment and lab played in knowing which next step to take with his own dog.  It was pretty awesome and apparently almost had people in tears because they needed to make sure that Tuck was going to be ok!  He was ok in the end so it's a heart-warming story and fun that he got to share that with his co-workers.  He even mentioned in his presentation about how he "had to ask his wife if it was ok to call his ex-girlfriend to get her opinion on what the next course of action should be for his dog in critical condition" and got a good chuckle out of the audience by letting them know how thrilled I was about that.  She's this big-wig animal internist up north...whatevs.  I honestly didn't care at all.  What he didn't tell the group was what his rather inappropriate wife ACTUALLY said.  Which was "she can (insert expletive) you for all I care if she knows how to save Tucker"  Oops...I shouldn't say those things :) He took that as the green light to go ahead and call her.  Ha!  Man am I glad he did, because her opinion was absolutely the right one and may have played a large part in the fact that my boy is alive and crazy as ever now. 

Next topic: I hate Halloween.  I hate everything about it except little kids dressed cutely.  I hate monsters and masks and people being dressed up and trying to scare me. How is this fun for people?? I have a deadening fear of masks (and drag queens...I don't like not knowing what's REALLY under there) hence the hate for this holiday.  That being said, somehow last night I was convinced to do a zombie walk with my girlfriends (and forcing my husband to go so I don't cry alone on the street when I become terrified :) ) I'm going to try to be a big girl.  I decided I want to be a zombie bride.  Now, I hate Halloween but I freaking LOVE doing hair & makeup so I'm pretty stoked about it.  I'm going to Goodwill to find an old wedding dress (yes I've thought of how disgusting wearing someone else's old wedding dress will be...I might need to wear long johns underneath it)  I watched some zombie make up tutorials to ensure that my look is legit and my sister promises me that if I look like everyone else there that they won't torture me.  I'm going to go with it...

the joys of pregnancy

Had my dr appointment this morning.  Turns out I was pregnant.  How exciting...  that's miscarriage #2 for anyone that's counting.  This one clearly not ANYTHING like the first one but nonetheless it still "counts" the same, as in he told me that if this happens again we have to go after why it's happening.  They don't usually do anything until after you've had 3 miscarriages.  PS, that's a lot.  He also told me that he doesn't have any reason to believe that I can't go on to carry a baby to term, so this may just be a bump in the road.  I'm really effing sick of having bumps in the road instead of in my belly.

 I'm going to make my next post something positive and funny...I'm determined

the hits keep on comin'

I love back to back posts.  I'm obviously very busy at work today...

As I said, I called in my clomid scrip.  Well, just got a call from the nurse and went as follows:
Joanne: Hey Jill, you started and your progesterone was that high?
Me: Yes
Joanne: When?
Me: Saturday
Joanne: Wow.
Me: Yeah, tell me about it
Joanne: Like a normal cycle?
Me: No, worse than normal...the amount of advil I took, I assure you, is not good for my liver (I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable ;))
Joanne: Ok, if it's that uncomfortable you may have developed cysts. We can't give you any more drugs until you have an exam to make sure you don't have cysts
Me: I'll be there tomorrow

So basically, they're shocked I'm not pregnant and are concerned they're blowing out my ovaries again.  Man, this is fun!!

The saga continues.  But how jacked up is it that I'm happy they're checking everything?  Pretty jacked up but I sure am glad!

yet another month

Called in my clomid rx today.  We know what that means.  I knew on Friday that I wasn't pregnant...I could just tell.  So had my emotional breakdown on Friday, then on Saturday when the bitch actually showed up I was ok.  The visual was something else: in my sweatpants, heating pad stuffed inside said sweatpants, glasses on, hair a mess, watching the UGA game....UGHHHHHHHHH...eating pizza.  That's right.  I ate REAL pizza.  With cheese and everything.  Holy crap it was good.  I feel like hell today because of it, but at the time I needed comfort :)  My husband is the coolest cat around.  When I came out of the bathroom and said I had started, he went to the store and got me a "period survival kit" including Advil, sour worms and oreos (which, did you know oreos have no dairy in them?? BONUS! - wait, I just said I ate pizza...oops) I'm feeling ok now.  It is what it is, and there's nothing I can do to change it.  I find comfort in always having a "next step" and we have decided that if I'm not pregnant in the next 2 months (being the 2nd 3-month round of crazy pills) then it's time to see a specialist.  It was probably time before but I'm in denial :) but over 2 years of trying with miscarriages in between...yeah, it's probably time :)  As for now, I'm going to enjoy this delicious fall weather and run my little tail off.  OH!  I had registered to run the silver comet half marathon a couple months ago...which is at the end of this month.  Perhaps I should train for it?  I mean, I run often, so I could do it without training if I needed to, but I'm sure as shit not going to beat my time from last year.  But let's get real, I know myself and I know that by the time it's time to run the half I will not have started my next cycle, so I won't know if I'm actually pregnant yet so I probably won't run it.  Heh...or maybe I will start testing at 7dpo again ( :) ) and will know I'm not pregnant and can run it.  Oh, I don't know...for now I'll run my measly 5-6 miles in the gym, call it a day and worry about getting my race t-shirt later :)

ugh

real pregnancy test is negative. I think I'm out this month.  I hate this.

holycrapholycrapholycrap

Judy (my BFF nurse at Dr M's office) just called.  It went a little something like this:

Judy: This is good news.  Great news even.
Jill: Ok, does that mean my level was high?
Judy: Yes, very high.  A 32.
Jill: *starts crying* Omg I think I'm going to cry!
Judy: I would too! If you don't start your period, come in ASAP for bloodwork.  Congrats!


Cynical Cindy left for a little bit :) Here right now is Overjoyed Olga!  Wait...that makes me sound like an Ogre...

WHATEVER I'M PUMPED!!!!

cynical cindy

I hate how cynical I've become...

I blame my uterus. And Facebook.

For instance, I'm 10 dpo (I freaking think...the doc hasn't called with my blood results from MONDAY to make sure I ovulated...I called this morning and left a message that I need my results.  Don't they know they're working with stage 5 crazy here??) and of COURSE I peed on a stick this morning. Ok maybe I've been peeing on sticks since 7dpo (did I mention I'm crazy?) but I can afford to thanks to www.early-pregnancy-tests.com :) In the fertility blog world those are referred to as "internet cheapies" and they rule!  Anyway my internet cheapie was negative.  And already I'm convinced I'm out this month.  It's 4 days before I should be testing and I'm already convinced...I think they call that being jaded.  heh. 

Forget about pregnancy announcements...make me want to punch someone in the face!  I know that's insensitive and I should be happy for other people...and I am happy for some of them that they are getting to experience the "joys of pregnancy" and motherhood, but I also want to scream in their faces.  Oops.  And then there's the people who complain about their pregnancy on the ever-wonderful facebook.  "Omg I can't believe I had to wait an HOUR to hear my baby's heartbeat."  Hey, why don't you go fuck yourself.  Oh, that's rude, Jill...don't say things like that. 

Obviously when I see a baby my heart melts and my uterus skips a beat.  It's not the baby's fault they're awesome and they're mom complained the whole time she was baking them :)

I should also say I recognize that I have zero idea if some of these women that I want to punch have had struggles of their own.  I know some of them haven't, and those are generally the complainers.  Funny how that works isn't it?

Remember earlier when I said the drugs weren't making me crazy?  I think I lied...

In lighter news, my sister paid for my mani/pedi last night for watching their dog while they were honeymooning, so that ruled. 

So, that's my rant.  Maybe I'm pregnant so I'm moody or maybe the drugs are making it happen, but I ranted, now I'm done.  I declare that the rest of my day will be joyful! Happy October, and happy thursday all!