I have totally not updated about our IVF journey so far. Can't figure out why I keep putting it off, but I suppose it doesn't matter :) Someone else is using my office for the day, so I don't have my files, and am left here to update my blog. So here goes nothin.
First things first...the day we came back from Hawaii I went in for my "endometrial scraping" AKA taking a razor blade to the inside of my uterus. All dramatics aside, that was probably the worst pain I've ever been in. Seriously. That procedure was horrid. I actually frightened Josh by my reaction. I've had some procedures that hurt and I've toughed it out, but this one was different. I'm talking insta-tears. And crying so hard I couldn't catch my breath. Josh had to keep telling me to breathe. It sucked ass, for lack of a better term. Well, after that was done I went to the bathroom and the nurse says to Josh, "Yeah, that's the worst procedure. We don't tell them how bad it is because nobody would do it." Hey, thanks! Oh, and thanks for those two Tylenol you gave me afterward...those really knocked it out...no. Anyway, after that was done (which, btw they sent the tissue samples off for testing and it all came back clear...go my tissue) we met with one of the nurses to tell us how to do the injections. I started on Lupron that day, which (I think) suppresses my ovaries. I was on 10 units of Lupron for about a week and a half and then when we started stimulation injections they took me down to 5 units. I think the Lupron is used as a safeguard against ovulating too soon when using the stim drugs. Perhaps I should know what I'm injecting into my stomach (oh yeah...in my stomach, not my ass) but I just am going with the flow and doing what they say. It's so not Jill-like :)
So...did the Lupron for 10 days then went in for what's called my baseline ultrasound. I had gotten my period in between then so they ultrasounded me to make sure my lining was under a 4 - mine was a 2.4, so perfect - and to check for any cysts on my ovaries. None of those! They also checked follicles. They saw 7 on the right and 6 on the left. We were so stoked! 13!! That means we would have at minimum 13 eggs!! Right?! Not so much...I'll come back to that later. So the night of my baseline it was time to start the stim injections along with the Lupron. Oh, I also started taking the steroid (to keep the killer cells at bay) and a baby aspirin, which they have every IVF patient take. The baby aspirin is making me bleed a lot and bruise everywhere. This was to be expected. They have signs all over the blood taking room (phlabotobrary?) about how "patients taking baby aspirin may experience more bleeding a bruising". Got that...so maybe that's a good sign? I'm looking for all the good signs I can get.
Ok, so started the stim drugs. Might I say...ouchie. The needle doesn't hurt, but the med is really thick. It's 4 bottles of powder mixed with one unit of water...thick. It burns going in and thank the good Lord for Josh because he knows how to mix it and has a secret trick that makes it burn less. Essentially he squeezes the area of tummy fat really fast while injecting it and it has it spread quicker under the skin. That's right...I just said I enjoy that my husband has to squeeze my fat. New low.
Anyway, went in for my first monitoring yesterday morning and didn't get great news. I only have 8 follicles now and they are less than 10mm. This is "not great" in the words of my short-worded doctor. We were hoping for like 20. I mean, hopefully we will only need 1 but I can't lie I had a complete panic attack after I left the doc yesterday. 8 follicles doesn't necessarily mean 8 eggs. Even if we do get 8 eggs, not all of them will be mature enough, then not all of them will fertilize, then not all of them will live to day 5, then all of them will not come back genetically ok. So 8 follicles doesn't mean 8 embryos ready for transfer. It's really disheartening, but there's nothing I can do about it. They upped my meds to make sure those 8 get really mature. All we can do right now is hope that the new dosage of meds works and gets them super mature and there are indeed 8 eggs in there. Since the upped my meds I had to drop another $500 to get more, and therefore had to cancel our massive party we had planned for this weekend. The timing just wasn't right. When I planned the date for the party I didn't know it would be right in the midst of our IVF cycle. I didn't really want to have to sneak away to do my injections, and we also have to go back on saturday for monitoring. The stress was just too much. It's kind of the raddest party all year so that sucks...but we can do it later...hopefully.
So right now, I'm pretty down in the dumps, but I suppose we will know more on Saturday. I figured it wouldn't be a good idea to host a party if we got bad news on Saturday and I had more panic attacks. That's just not fun for anyone.
So from here I just keep getting shot (I'm running out of new places) and pray that my follies get large. I wish I could give the wide-eyed emoji right now.
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