I've been avoiding writing this post because it's just a lot to type. But I'll want to remember this one day :) So here it goes. We had our appointment with Dr. P after ALL results were in. It was quite informative. My NKC's were elevated and put on the placental sample, the intrallipids did not stop them from attacking. The IVIG did (that's the insanely expensive infusion) but not the intrallipids (the cheaper of the infusions). So, they want to do steroid therapy along with the intrallipid infusions. He said that they have yet to have a patient with my same NKC numbers that the steroid plus intrallipid hasn't worked on. So, that's something. That's step one. Step two is GETTING me pregnant. Doing IUI we have a 20% chance of getting pregnant and a 15-20% chance of miscarriage. Those are the actual percentages for a reproductively healthy person. So essentially, doing the steroids plus intrallipids puts me "normal". The IUI entails, steroids, intrallipids, Letrizole (to stimulate ovulation), FSH (follicle stimulating hormone which stimulate the follicles in my ovaries), trigger shot (shot of hcg to make my ovaries release the eggs) and inserting Josh's boys via catheter at the time of ovulation. Onto IVF with embryo genetic testing. 65% chance of getting pregnant and 5% chance of miscarriage. Those are some odds I like. The reason for the chance of miscarriage being so low is because of the genetic testing on the embryo's. The major reason for m/c in the first place is because a genetic issue with the embryo, so testing them (while it's not 100%...nothing is) cuts that risk way down. IVF entails the birth control pill (holy crap I haven't been on the pill in like 7 years), steroids (get ready for roid rage), intrallipids (which is essentially fat being pumped into my veins), lupron (which blocks any testosterone in my system...my dad is on the same thing for his prostate cancer...maybe they'll do a bogo??) Letrizole (hope it doesn't make me as crazy as clomid did), FSH (sure to make me nuts), indictable hormones (more crazy), trigger shot (people take hcg shots to make them skinny..), narcotics for pain (probably vomit from those :), surgery (under heavy anesthesia - will definitely vomit...warned Dr. P about that one!) for egg retrieval, putting our bits in a dish (please find each other and mate), having them meet together, making embryos, testing them for genetic issues, and then inserting the good embryo's via catheter around 5-6 days after retrieval (are you in there little fetus. in 9 months will you come greet us. I will buy you some Adidas). Actually, it's possible that a live transfer won't happen. If I have too much estrogen in my system when it's time for embryo transfer they will freeze those little buggers and wait until the following month. Glad to know that's a possibility up front. It's scaring the bejesus out of me honestly. As much as I try to make light of it, this is no joke. Surgery. Scary. I'll need my besticle, Jo, to talk me through it. She's a pro :) So...from the date I start my period to the date of egg retrieval is about 6 weeks. That's a long ass time. And a lot of drugs. And I'm scared I'll be insane. And I probably will be.
Anyway, after much consideration we have opted for IVF. Basically because IUI can add up and may not work and that's 4 grand down the toilet to just start over. And most importantly because the risk of miscarriage is so much less. 100% honesty right here...I'm not sure I would emotionally recover from another miscarriage that was decently far along. My husband and therapist agree :) Obviously it's hard any time anyone goes through losing a baby, but I still need to work on why I'm having such a hard time moving on. If you ask me it's because of how the miscarriage happened. That would scar anyone! (I'll bring this up in my next session :)) So, doing IVF...we will know that we have tried everything we could.
Now, timing. We might be going to Hawaii!! Score!! Josh may have won a trip to Maui through his company and we will find out like 3 days before I should start next month. Which actually works out perfectly. If we are going then we will wait to start the drugs and the process until we get back (can we say wastey face in Hawaii?!?!) It would be so awesome if we can go. One of Josh's co-workers and his wife and Josh and I are basically the same humans and we love hanging out together and I'm pretty sure they're going so we are crossing our fingers that Josh's Q2 didn't screw him last year and his numbers were up enough!! ha! It's left up to us on when to start. What a refreshing change of pace :)
Now, diet. Dr. P wasn't so knocked in the head about my vegan lifestyle so Jill is back to lean protein and veggies. Which is fine. I'm still staying away from dairy because I just hate how I feel when I eat it. Josh is ridiculously excited about eating meat. Poor guy had been deprived for so long :) He checked me for celiac disease and that came back negative so that's cool. I'm still staying away from carbs because all these drugs are going to make me insanely fat. While I'm not concerned about gaining weight while pregnant I am concerned about gaining weight having it be another reason for infertility. Speaking of maintaining weight...my home gym is pretty rad! With my dumbbells, kettle bells and Resistance bands! I can play my music as loud as I want and I just got a notification (via splice, the greatest app ever invented) that my new cycling trainer has been delivered to my house!!!! I can pop my bike on there and ride til the cows come home (or until I whack one of my nosey dogs in the head with my pedal while biking in the living room and watching Friends) and I'm SO excited! I'm also starting to take a yoga class once a week. The nurse practitioner at Dr. P's office suggested I start doing that for my sanity while going through the IVF Process. Alright, girl, I shall do that! Stoked about that too! She also said that I can't take on any extra projects at work or home during the IVF process too. Funny, what I heard is that Josh needs to do the laundry...no?
And lastly, I have to go BACK to Dr. P's office on Tuesday (he has been very clear that they have to own my schedule during this process because it's a LOT of monitoring and doing things when things are thick or not too thick, etc ;)) to have another saline sonogram to make sure I don't have any polyps or fibroids that would hinder implantation. Yes, I've had this done once, but it was at a certain time during my cycle and he wants another one at another time during my cycle. Alrighty, sounds good. At that time they will also do a "trial transfer" which, if I understand correctly, will measure my lady bits so they can assure a smooth real transfer. I appreciate the attention to detail...you know, like they don't do this day in and day out ;)
Well, that's all I've got for now. Oh, except for the fact that we are trying to move. We be cray!
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