done and dusted

All testing is now complete.  Today I had my "procedure" and it was not an enjoyable experience. :) Much as I had heard and read that it would not be.  Especially since they had to do it TWICE.  I have "pesky tubes" per my doc.  Of course I do...why would I not??  But even though it was quite painful it's over now.  (TMI alert) So, insert speculum, insert catheter, remove speculum, insert vaginal ultrasound probe, blow bubbles into my cervix, watch bubbles fly through my fallopian tubes noting that they are open and ready for eggs!  That's how it was supposed to go.  Here's how it actually went: get in the stirrups, Dr. M comes in and high fives Josh because his results came back great (HELL YES SOME GOOD NEWS!) do a little sperm dance to myself, hear "ok, we will start now," have anxiety attack, insert speculum, insert catheter, squeeze Josh's hand so hard I white knuckle, remove speculum, insert ultrasound probe, feel pain and pressure, start to cry, blow bubbles, more pressure, still crying, hear "they're not moving," hear "we need to start over," cry some more, remove probe, remove catheter, ask "Jill, are you ok?"  Oh sure, why wouldn't I be?  This is so much fun! So let's start over...and they did.  I will say second time around it was much less uncomfortable, but I continued to cry because turns out I'm a huge vagina when it comes to my vagina. Once the bubbles were "blown in there" they just hung around for a while.  Not moving.  He turned the ultrasound to us (keeping in mind Josh can read ultrasound probably better than the ultrasound tech so he's completely enthralled by this and I kind of wanted to punch him in the face and tell him to wipe my tears instead of staring, gaping mouthed, at the ultrasound screen...I digress) so we could see what he was telling us.  There they were...little bubbles just sitting in my uterus.  Again, not moving.  So Dr. M put in some sort of balloon attachment thing to apply pressure to them to get them moving.  Apparently that worked because then we could see them moving through my right tube!  Yippee! The left tube had no movement, but apparently that's ok because we only need one to make babies.  So...long story short...it's possible both my tubes were blocked and he just blasted out the right one.  Awesome!  And SO comfortable!! I'm not about to lie about it, I continued to cry while I was getting cleaned up because once I start, there's no stopping this train.  Oops :) I probably scared all the women sitting outside the ultrasound room when I walked out, snot-nosed and bright purple.  Sorry chicas! Heh.  Then we met in Dr. M's office to discuss where to go from here.  Everything else has come back completely normal.  All the blood work they ran on me 2 weeks ago came back great,  with Josh's strong boys (again, insert sperm dance!) and now that I have a tube for said sperm to travel through we just need an egg. Well, I don't ovulate on my own (regularly)  so.........that means........crazy pills!  I'm kind of stoked about it now, which is funny because about a month ago I was adamant about NEVER taking them again, but now that I know that everything else is good I want to take clomid because I KNOW it works.  There's another option we could try (a different drug) but I don't know that it will work, and since we know clomid works we are going to use it. I'm just unwilling to try something else.  I'm pretty much done waiting :)  I said, "I'm willing to take clomid again, but Josh might divorce me." and Dr. M says "No, he knows what he's got.  You don't drive a Hyundai when you've got a Mercedes sitting in the garage." Have I ever mentioned how much I love him??  He gets that I'm crazy, but then he boosts my self esteem at every turn ;)  Fact: 80% of women who take clomid (and have open tubes and everything else is normal) get pregnant within 3 months.  Those are odds I like :)  Let's do this thing! But for now, my lady bits hurt, so today I'm going to lay on the couch, not go to the gym, and eat far too many carbs.